Scanned Your Photos? Think Again!

Today’s blog is all about what I wish I had known about preserving my family photos and certificates. Hoping this will help you avoid my mistakes.

The story begins in December 2001. On the day my mom was interred, I met my stepmother to acquire items my father had left to me when he died five years earlier. Step-mother had refused for years to mail me the items even though I offered to compensate her. My emotions were raw from the burial that had to be rushed due to an impending snowstorm. Husband and I, with our two kids, then drove through our old neighborhoods to see our childhood sites. We stopped briefly to visit my beloved kindergarten teacher and then it was on to my stepmother’s home. The visit was what I had expected it to be; I soldiered on with the thought running through the back of my mind, “This will be over soon.” Hubby put the two cardboard boxes of my father’s remaining possessions in our trunk and we drove south towards home. When we had driven far out of town we stopped at a hotel for the night; I looked through the boxes quickly and discovered photograph albums, certificates, a diary, war medals, work pins, and a few toys.

Arriving home on New Year’s Eve, the items went into a closet as I knew I needed time to look through them carefully. My mindset wasn’t ready to do that.

Two years later we moved to a new city and the boxes were placed on the top shelf of a hall closet. Someday I would have time to go through them.

Fast forward to Summer 2008. Hurricanes had hit my area and we had lost a huge oak tree in our backyard. Luckily, it fell away from houses. If it had fallen 180 degrees instead onto my house, the kitchen and closet where these heirlooms were stored would have been devastated. I knew I had to scan and do it quickly.

When faced with a crisis you must prioritize and be on terms with your decision. My priority was my children so I scanned the many scrapbooks I had made for them first. Then I moved on to my maternal side’s two photo albums. Next would be my husband’s family’s photos which were in a large album. The summer was going quickly and I was left with one week before I had to return to my education job. I rushed to scan my father’s photos.

I knew I had a few more items to scan, my mom’s address book, and my dad’s World War 2 diary, but time was up.

I saved the scanned photos to DVDs, Ancestry.com, and to Google Photos. I mailed DVDs to far-flung relatives in the hope that if the originals and my DVDs were destroyed, family in other parts of the U.S. might be able to have a copy I could get back or I could still see them online.

Last Sunday, I got the brilliant idea to buy a cart that was on sale that matched our home office furniture. I intended to clean the office closet by placing stationery items in the new cart. Hubby loved it and thought it would be a good place to move our printer/scanner so we’d have more desk space. Then we decided to move the router. Of course, there were cable issues so my simple organizational strategy turned into much more than I had bargained for.

Once we got back online, the office closet had a lot of space. Hmmm, it was cold and rainy so why not move some of the items from that hall closet into the office as that’s where I keep binders of my family’s records. The hall closet is odd-shaped and tall so I had to have hubby and son get the ladder and hand me down the boxes.

I opened the first of my father’s photo albums and compared the pictures to what I had uploaded years ago to Google Photos. The pages were not there. Neither were the next five pages. I then looked on Ancestry.com and some of the missing Google Photos were on Ancestry but not all of them. I also noticed that none of the photos I had taken with my phone since July 2021 were being saved on Google Photo. What was going on?

At first, I thought maybe I had exceeded space on Google as I blogged last year about their policy change but that wasn’t it; I had plenty of space. I checked with family and friends and they said they had noticed similar gaps. One relative said she had lost a year of her pictures that had been stored on Google Photos. A friend told me she had lost photos when she changed phones and hadn’t checked the settings. I hadn’t gotten a new phone and hadn’t messed with settings; I see that there is now an “upload” button on my Android. I’m thinking this is a result of Google’s policy change in June and they no longer automatically upload. Lesson 1 – check now and upload any phone photos if you use Google Photos. It will only upload a few at a time so be patient.

But what about the missing pages that I had scanned in 2008? I know I didn’t miss scanning all of those pages as some are on Ancestry.com. Lesson 2 – save somewhere where you alone control what’s added. I am now additionally saving to Dropbox.

Last week, I decided to create albums on Google Photos to help me quickly recheck all of my uploaded pictures to the hard copies I have on hand. That took a few days. Meanwhile, my office is now filled with items I have yet to double-check. Lesson 3 – once you scan and upload to where you are going to save, double-check to make sure that the item scanned clearly and was saved where you want it.

This adventure had not been fun; it is boring to have to double-check everything. I can’t stress enough how important it is, though. This time around I’m also scanning the covers of the albums and the inside pages as I have discovered notes my father left there. Lesson 4 – Those written words are as important as the photos contained in the album. It lets me know about his thoughts and feelings.

I decided to save my photos in Dropbox in a different way than Google Photos. Google saves by the date they were uploaded, regardless of the year the photo was taken. In Dropbox, I’m saving by surname.first name.item description. I copy the photos into a Word document so I’m able to include additional information. I’ve typed who the photos belonged to, how I acquired them, the size of the album, its condition, the number of pages, etc. For the few albums that identified the people, I typed under the photo a transcription. Lesson 5 – what’s nice about this is you can use the find (control + F key) to locate an item quickly. That’s how I discovered the picture above. My father had simply written “grandpa” under the photo.

It is not my grandpa; it’s my father’s grandpa meaning it is my great-grandpa, Theobald Leininger. I only had one picture of him, given to me by a distant family member. It was an awful photo – he is on the end of a group picture and mostly cut off but I was happy to have it. Lesson 6 – if I had only rechecked my photo album and thought about the captions from my father’s viewpoint and not my own I would have realized I had this photo for 20 years.

Since the weather outside remains frightful, I’m going to be spending whatever time it takes to get these items all scanned and saved. Trust me, the hardest part is getting started. I have one box completely done. Seeing my progress motivates me to move forward. Perhaps soon, my office will be clean and neat and I can go back to more “fun” genealogy tasks.

Find-A-Grave Memorial Changes – A How-To Guide

Do you have Find-a-Grave memorials for close relatives? If so, you’d be wise to update your RELATIONSHIP. This is a new change to the site, now owned by Ancestry.com.

I’m not sure why this change was made but given how people have lost civility lately, I can only imagine what the folks at Find-A-Grave must be enduring by people who are demanding memorials be altered or reassigned. In grief, emotions are raw; I wouldn’t be surprised if the Find-A-Grave staff is besieged with requests for changes.

Whatever their reason for the change, I think it’s a good one. It doesn’t take much time to update your memorials and I’m going to give you two methods to update them.

Go to any known memorial you have and start there, clicking spouse and children to update OR
My preferred method so you don’t miss anyone: Hover over your name on the ribbon on the right side of the screen. Your choices are Profile – Account – My Memorials – Sign Out. Click “My Memorials” which will list all the memorials you will need to update with your relationship info.

Here’s how to update each memorial:

Look at the picture above – Clicking the down error next to EDIT displays options; click “Edit Memorial.”
If you DO NOT manage the Memorial it will not allow you to edit. Instead this is what you’ll see (SUGGEST EDITS)

By clicking “SUGGEST EDITS” you CANNOT update the bio but under “Other,” you can suggest corrections or addtions to be made. Make sure after clicking the “+ Suggest other corrections” and add your input, you click “Save Suggestions.”
If you created or had the memorial transferred to you, you will be able to make changes and add your relationship. After you have followed Step 2 above, scroll down to the bottom of the page. This is what you’ll see:

Simply click in two of the boxes to update; the first is a Yes or No to the question Are you a close relative? The second click will be for you to include the relationship by answering “I am their . . .”
When a selection is made, a check box is displayed that says “Show relationship in source information.” If you check it, it will show on the main page that the public sees what you have determined your relationship is to the memorial individual.

By leaving the box UNchecked, Find-A-Grave staff will be able to see the relationship but not the general public. I chose to uncheck but you do whatever you like. My memorials only show “Created by: Lori Samuelson.”

Make sure you click “Save Changes” or you haven’t updated the memorial!

If you make an error, no worries, just go back in and follow the steps again. I purposely entered myself as a cousin when a relationship should have been niece to see what would happen. I just had to go back in and re-edit. I was easily able to change my relationship.

Here are some caveats:
I have my spouse and my memorial already listed because no one will be doing this for me after I’m deceased. There’s an option for me to select I’m my husband’s spouse/partner but none for me so I selected spouse/partner to myself. I can understand why Find-A-Grave didn’t include “self” as an option as they probably don’t have a lot of people who think ahead to do that.

Also, keep in mind that the relationships must be close – there is no option for a great grandparent, great uncle/aunt, or delineation between first, second, etc. cousins.

There is also no way for me to add that my relationship is through marriage. I suppose I could have my husband create an account and then I’d transfer management to him but we all know that’s not only a lot of extra work, I’d still be managing his sites so why bother with all that. Therefore, I made myself my in-laws child.

If you have many aunts and uncles, you will reach a limit on how many times you may select niece/nephew. Larger families I have no idea a solution you can use.

Racing and Genealogy

5K Award

Typically I blog on Saturday mornings but yesterday I participated in a very special event for me; I took part in my first 5K. I do like to walk but not run. My husband signed us both up to be in the race that we were already going to be attending to cheer on a family member who was entered into the marathon category.

It was a long drive to and from the event and that gave me time to reflect on how much racing is like genealogy.

One might disagree with me as running is all about getting somewhere quickly and genealogy is the opposite. Yet, there are striking similarities I’ve noticed.

I have never been a runner and really had no desire to become one. Our family joke is I would rather stand and fight than run. Pretty much. The truth is initially I really had no desire to be a genealogist. I had an interest in discovering answers to family questions. That interest, over time, became a passion. Successful runners have that passion to get up at the crack of dawn in all sorts of weather to hone their skills. Genealogists stay up into the wee morning hours doing research online. I would even go so far as saying genealogists get a version of runner’s high when they locate that long-lost document or solve a family mystery.

When runners are patiently waiting for the start of the race, they swap stories of past races. Runners also encourage each other to continue on the course. Genealogists cannot help themselves, when they get together, sharing their past finds and supporting their colleagues to continue on to a victory when researching a brick wall.

Runners have tricks of the trade that the novice would have little awareness about – like pickle juice. Genealogists have many of their own tricks, I enjoy sharing mine via my blog.

As I jumped into racing yesterday I once jumped into genealogy. I learned to warm up, wear my broken in gym shoes, and make sure I stayed hydrated. The destination is often not close to my home. Not much different than preparing for a genealogical research trip!

Getting to the finish line is difficult for both runners and genealogists as there are so many unexpected obstacles that pop up. One of the shared ones is the pandemic. We pivot, we adjust, we have our workarounds to reach the end. We eventually get there.

The biggest surprise I learned about racing was the sloth award. Who knew there was a coveted award for coming in last place! The point is that endurance is more important than speed. I like that. That should be running in the back of every genealogist’s mind. Happy Hunting!

Tips for Writing Your Memoir

Happy New Year! I’ve been busy in the two weeks I took off for the holidays – I wrote my memoir.

Go ahead and laugh. You, too, can easily record your memories and take this off your To-Do list. A little background info first . . .

For years, every time a funny situation or a strange happening occurred I’d say, “I’m going to put that in my book someday.” I never quantified when “someday” would be. The week of December 6th I got three notices from the universe that it was time for me to get cracking on my life story.

The first happened on St. Nicholas Day which according to my family, he was Croatian. I know he wasn’t but my family culture was such that everyone who was revered was somehow Croatian. Investigating my family stories cleared up quite a few of the tales but we always celebrated his feast day by leaving out our shoes and magically, overnight, they would be filled with treats (think an apple, candy, or cookies). We’d have a pork roast for dinner which I never figured out how that was connected to St. Nick but it was delicious.

This past St. Nick Day I gave a lecture at my local library on interviewing family members. One attendee asked me what to do if he happened to be the oldest family member. I suggested he interview himself. On Thursday of that week, I was volunteering at my city’s historical society when a visitor asked me how long I had lived in the area. I replied, “Nearly 50 years.” and he said, “You’re an old-timer then.” I guess I am but I hadn’t considered the title. The following day I was doing research at a nearby town for an upcoming journal article I’m writing and I overheard the docent give some incorrect information about the surrounding area. I had lived there for almost 10 years so I experienced firsthand what she was discounting. I put in my two cents and she replied, “I guess you should be giving the tours since you’re an old-timer.” Wow, that’s twice in 24 hours. Thanks, Universe, for the reminder.

I went home and seriously considered the need to interview myself. I do have memories that are of historical value and I’d like to recall them now while I still can. Alzheimer’s runs in my family and as we’ve all learned the past two years, life is unpredictable.

The problem has always been I wasn’t sure how to start. I decided to try by speaking to my computer. I opened Microsoft Word and on the ribbon, clicked “Dictate,” then started speaking. The program types whatever you say. If you have issues typing effectively and efficiently this is a cheap way to get your thoughts down on paper. Notice I said “cheap.” Yes, there are programs you can purchase but I wanted something instantly I didn’t have to pay for.

I talked for a few minutes and then looked at what was recorded. It wasn’t bad, considering some of the information I was saying was not in English. Was it correct? No, but it was close. The bigger issue was that Word does not add punctuation. If you say “period” after your sentence it will type out the word “period.” Same with commas. Sigh.

It took me longer to go back and edit what I had just said than it would have if I had typed it in the first place. Even so, I would not have been able to start this project had I not spoken first. Staring at a blank Word document or a piece of paper was not going to move me forward. I am extremely verbal so I had to speak about what I wanted to record to begin the project.

Once I began I had no writer’s block. The memories just flowed, however, they didn’t flow in chronological order. That’s okay, too. My goal was to just let my brain download my life while I typed.

I didn’t care about spelling or grammar. If I forgot someone’s name I’d just leave a few spaces or hit the tab key and keep writing. Funny but the name would later resurface and I could go back and insert it in the space.

I didn’t write every day but I nearly did. I spent about 8 hours writing on the weekend and only 1-3 hours during the weekdays. I also decided to skip the years my children were small because I had created scrapbooks for them that recorded the good, bad, and ugly of those times. I refer to that in my book.

I have the free version of Grammarly and that helps tremendously with the spelling and punctuation. It underlines using a faint red line to highlight what needs possible correction. You just click on the underlined word and options are given to you.

Word of caution – the recalling of all of these memories does result in some odd dreams so be aware of that occurring. Nothing sinister, mind you, just a mix of your life events. For example, I dreamed about my deceased mother and a maternal aunt, along with a living cousin who was holding a beautiful baby. My aunt told me she had something important to tell me. I then woke up. I had written about the cousin’s first child the day before. Just want to warn you that your dreams may become extremely vivid while you’re writing.

Here’s what my plan now is . . . I’m going through my old photos and inserting them where appropriate in my story. Seeing the photos evoked a few more memories that I hadn’t recalled so I added a couple of paragraphs here and there. I was amazed that for the most part, my recall was fairly in chronological order. The most out-of-order time was in my college years. I don’t know why that was the case and I’d be interested to hear if you have the same result. I had completely forgotten about one of my husband’s first jobs and which summer we had gone on our first vacation. Was it between freshman and sophomore year or sophomore/junior?

Here’s another item to put on my to-do list; I discovered my photos are not in the order I want them to be so I’m creating albums. I use Google Photos and Dropbox to store them as I’m paranoid about losing the originals to a disaster. I’ve scanned them all but they were saved by when I scanned them and not by the person so I’ve got to work on that someday (when the universe tells me to haha.)

I’m almost done adding the photos and will then pull out my genealogical file on myself and look at documents. I have two from the hospital where I was born and they both have a different time of my birth. Lovely, right? My mom came up with the third time so I will never know for sure what time I arrived into the world. I’ll include both documents that wouldn’t be readily available to a descendant.

I then plan to have the story saved to a hardcover book, probably through Amazon but I’ve gotten that far to make a final determination. I’ll keep you updated when I get there and please let me know what you’ve done, Dear Reader, as I’d appreciate the input.

Here’s to Your Story in 2022!

GenealogyAtHeart’s Top 10 Posts of 2021

Looked at the calendar this morning and realized this will be my last Genealogy At Heart post for 2021! I will be taking a hiatus due to the holidays for the next 2 weeks. Hoping you have a delightful time – enjoy, reminisce, and stay safe.

10 Fantastic Photos! MyHeritage Does it Again!

9 Resolving Genealogy Tech Issues

8 A Unique Genealogical Find Christmas Night

7 Your Town’s History – A Treasure Hunt

6 Lessons Learned From Exhaustive Research

5 Reconnecting with Taboo Family

4 Remembering the Forgotten Ones – A New Project

3 Extra Special MyHeritage.com Announcement

2 Genealogy Acts of Kindness or Scam?

1 An Unusual Source to Find a Deed

Genealogy Old-timer

It’s Official – I have been named an “Oldtimer.” I knew this would happen someday but I never expected I would get the title twice in 24 hours! The first award was made by young visitors from Tallahassee who asked me how long I lived in my area. I had switched shifts with another volunteer at the historical society because it was her birthday (Happy Birthday, Barbara!). When I replied nearly 50 years though I spent my early years in the midwest the man replied, “You’re an old-time Floridian.” I guess I am though I don’t feel old at all!

Early the next morning I decided to go on a cemetery hunt which was just awesome since I haven’t done that since the pandemic began. Hubby and I visited an unincorporated area of the county where we once resided. We decided to stop at the local historical society first to see if anyone could direct me to living descendants of the Garrison family as I am writing a journal article on a tragedy the family endured. My kids used to volunteer at this historical society when they were in middle and high school and I haven’t stopped by in many years. My oh my has it changed! I was remarking how impressed I was with the refurbished pine floors, window shades featuring historical photos, and new exhibits when a docent said, “These are the original floors.” “Yes,” I replied, “but when the building was restored over 25 years ago they left the floors with all the stain buildup and I see they’ve been stripped; they look amazing.” “You sure are an old-timer,” she said, “I don’t think you need me to give you a tour.”

I certainly wanted a tour and kept my mouth shut, as much as possible, as she took us room to room. I didn’t correct her when she said the kitchen was original – nope, I clearly recall the roof leak about 1997, and the then director was frustrated that the roofing company had provided no warranty and the County Commissioners refused to give any more funds. That’s about when the idea to have a Tea Party to raise money began. I still have the hat I created for my daughter to wear as a server. I guess it’s about time we donated it to the museum! I have photos, of course, to show it being worn in the building. Except, they probably wouldn’t take it.

I had promised the original director that I would, upon my death, donate our family’s sheet music collection as she wanted the museum to be known for its musical history as it had the original piano and violin from the family who had built the house. My youngest used a computer to archive the holdings in the late 1990s. Now, I’m told, they have moved to a more minimalist approach so there is no library for researchers to use. I couldn’t get confirmation of what happened to the books, photos, and sheet music they once had.

Or what happened to all the furniture. It once had been set up like a house, though most of the pieces were not original to the location. Each room now houses only 1 piece of furniture – the boy’s room has a carved dresser, the living room has the family’s piano, etc. It’s an interesting way to display the items and allows the visitor to set up the rest of the furniture as they can only imagine.

I’m all for change but I’m also for preserving the past. I love the new look but I sure wish that some of the old items could have been preserved somehow. Somewhere is a happy medium I hope archives and museums can achieve. If you are planning to donate your family items, make sure you have an understanding with the organization of what they’ll do with your items if they change their focus!

After the visit, these two Old-Timers high-tailed it over to a pioneer cemetery and found the graves we sought in about 10 minutes. Trying to clean up the stone for a pic set off a fire ant colony. No bites, thankfully! I clearly had forgotten the perils of cemetery visits.

Now that I’m a reigning old-timer I’ve decided I’m going to blog more about my memories of living in Pinellas County, Florida. The area has changed so dramatically since I was a high school teen I couldn’t have imagined then what it has become. Strangely, it doesn’t even seem like so many years have passed. Recollections – here I come!

The Surreal in Genealogy

Yes, this is the season to be jolly and I am reading a fascinating book that’s anything but jolly this week that I got for free on Amazon Prime. Each month I get a free Kindle book of the month and I selected Murder at Teal’s Pond by David Bushman and Mark T. Givens for my December freebie. I made my selection because I was a Twin Peaks fan of the original series though I didn’t like how creepy it got in the 2000’s so I didn’t finish watching the series. That reason alone wasn’t why I chose this book to read. I was shocked to learn that the show was based off a real life event that just happened to have occurred in upstate New York where my husband’s paternal family once resided. Wow! Who knew?! And I’ve even done boots on the ground research in that location!

Even if you weren’t a Twin Peaks Fan or had kin in the Troy, New York region I recommend this book for the research methods that was employed in an attempt to solve the 113+ murder of Hazel Drew who looked remarkably like Laura Palmer. Talk about typecasting! The authors use many of the strategies that we genealogists do – searching old newspapers, investigating the FAN Club and interviewing the living who might have had knowledge of the event past down to them.

Like Mark Frost who was a co-creator of Twin Peaks, he first learned about the murder from his grandmother who was retelling a different story that had happened at Teal’s Pond. When he questioned her about the details she told him about the murder but didn’t provide much background. As an adult, he decided to dig deeper and that’s how Twin Peaks was brought to life.

There’s a message in here – with the holiday’s approaching you may be interacting with family that you weren’t able to see last year. Make sure you are recording their stories. Who knows, you may end up with a hit TV series because of your efforts.

DNA Holiday Sales

Photo courtesy of Petmd.com

It’s the most wonderful time of the year if you’re searching for DNA sales. Limited time offers are listed here:

Ancestry has a Black Friday sale that ends 11/28; a Cyber Sale for $49.00 that ends on 11/30 and a $100 off All Acess 6 month Membership which was advertised during the Macy’s Parade on Thanksgiving. Those deals are all through Groupon so click here to access. At the Ancestry site, they are still offering Free 14 day trials and 30% off World Explorer or All Access membership for AARP members – but you can only use those once! The specials are valid through 11/20/2021. Ancestry DNA kits are $49.00 (was $99.00) through midnight on 11/29.

MyHeritage also has specials through Groupon – up to 50% off DNA, free trials for 2 weeks and a free trial with no promo code – click here. Through the MyHeritage site, they are offering DNA testing for $39.00 (was $79.00) with free shipping on 2 or more kits on Cyber Monday. Click here to take advantage of the offer.

Family Tree DNA has the following offers: Family Finder + myDNA Wellness for $59.00, Family Finder $39.00 and discounts on Y-DNA and mtDNA through 11/30. Here’s the link.

23andMe is offering 50% off on one Health and Ancestry Kit and 60% off when you buy two kits. Offer ends 11/29.

Another option for mtDNA or Y-DNA is LivingDNA – a small but growing company that is offering kits for $59.00. Great Britain results are their largest reference samples. They also have Wellbeing Kits at $69.00 and Wellbeing/Ancestry Kits for $89.00.

Not sure which to select? I’ve tested mtDNA and autosomal through Ancestry. They have the largest samples but don’t support the mtDNA testing I first did. I’ve also tested with 23andMe because I wanted to know my percentage of Neandertal. If you have cave people jokes in your family that might be the option for you. I also tested with National Geographic but they are no longer doing DNA tests. I have purchased a MyHeritage test because they have a higher sample percentage of my particular eastern European ancestry. Next year I may test with FamilyTree DNA.

FamilyTree DNA and MyHeritage do allow you to upload your results from 23andMe and Ancestry so you can further connect with people who may have tested on other sites. Ancestry and 23andMe DO NOT allow uploads.

If your family member is worried about privacy, their results do not have to be shared. If you are interested in connecting family, then it’s advisable you will want to also add information for a rudimentary family tree on the site but that’s not necessary if you are only interested in determining ethnicity. Keep in mind, though, that the ethnicity estimates are only as strong as the sample that has tested so your results will change over time. I have been Jewish and then it was gone. I have been German and then it was gone. Now it’s French. I have been Irish but then it was gone and I became Scotts. You will probably discover, like me, you are a Mutt! Mutts are loveable and I’d much prefer there resistant genetic makeup than that of a purebred. Plus it’s more fun to research! Happy shopping.

A Crazy Family History Dream

Editor. Commemorative Biographical Record of Northeastern Pennsylvania, Chicago: J. H. Beers & Co., p.1415.

Did you ever have a dream filled with genealogical hints? That happened to me last week. In my dream, an ancestor was speaking to me and told me the significance of a pin that had been passed down in the family. I had first become aware of the item in a mugbook. During the summer of 2020 when I was trying to locate the Bible, another descendant was hard at work trying to find the location of the pin.

The mugbook description is above. In the dream, the ancestor who I never saw, told me it was mourning jewelry. The ancestor had brought it with him when he left England in the early 1700’s. We think of mourning jewelry as Victorian but the practice did originate in the 1600’s so the piece very well could have memorialized a death.

The dream continued that I was to be on a news show to talk about tracing family. In the green room was my husband, the emcee for the show, and several individuals I didn’t know. When a man with wavy blonde hair, short and stocky walked in, I somehow immediately recognized him as a descendant of the ancestor who had owned the pin. Now that’s totally irrational because there are no pictures or paintings of the ancestor.

I introduced myself to the man and he said he didn’t want to talk to me and he didn’t want to be at the studio, he was only doing it for the money as he needed $1200.00. A woman, who said she was his sister, was glad the man had come as he had paid the burial cost for Elaine and Edward.

I was confused, who were those people? Evidently, Elaine was the caretaker of the pin but had died tragically, though I didn’t know how or when. Edward took possession of the pin but had recently died when his puppy jumped into a lake and he dove in to save it, both drowned. The blonde man had paid for both burials in a Methodist church. He wouldn’t tell the location. His sister said it was the same place she was living which confused me more, was she sleeping in a cemetery? Turns out she had lost her residence and was temporarily staying at a shelter the church provided.

I decided I would write the blonde man a check for half the money he had paid for the burials but I didn’t have my checkbook so I asked him for his address. He refused to give it to me. Then his sister told him it would be wise to do that. The other man in the room, apparently his brother, agreed. I was rummaging around in my purse for a pen and paper but it was time for us to go on-air, which I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want the blonde man to have to share his family tragedy with the world.

Turned out the emcee had gotten us all there under false pretenses; he had “expert” witnesses who were going to debate who should be the rightful owner of the pin – me, a descendant of the first wife, or blonde man’s family, descendant of the second wife. I was so miffed at the subterfuge I said you can debate all you want about the legality but that’s not what is important, respecting the family’s decision is.

And then I woke up and couldn’t shake the dream.

Now I’m not planning on going to the great beyond anytime soon but I am prepared for the big event. My kids know who gets what and they can even have it now if they want.

I have no desire to go after family heirlooms that other’s inherited so why would I dream such a strange dream?

Halloween’s over and Thanksgiving is almost here!

I don’t have any idea but I decided to Google for key details in the dream. The blonde man had told me the first and last names for Elaine and Edward and his sister had told me the name of the church.

I am embarrassed to tell you I Googled it. Weirder still, there were two people by that name affiliated with a church named by the sister, but they were husband and wife and not brother and sister, in Tennessee.

Gave me the creeps.

I told my husband about the dream the next morning and he laughed and told me he and I were on the news. Huh? He had received an email from a neighbor with a link to a local news station that had filmed a marathon city council meeting (it ended after 3:30 AM) a few weeks ago. We had attended the heated meeting for 2 nights. The Tuesday meeting went from 6:30 PM to 12:30 AM, was convened because of a family emergency for one of the council members, reconvened at 6:30 PM on Wednesday and went til about 3:45 AM Thursday morning. We stayed both nights (days?) until the bitter end. Apparently my husband and I had been filmed around 3:00 AM on Thursday morning.

Personally, I think I need to take a genealogy break. I plan on focusing on Thanksgiving prep this week and getting ready for the upcoming holiday season. Maybe then I’ll start dreaming of sugar plums dancing in my head! Have an awesome Thanksgiving with your loved ones.

Welcome, Cuz – NPE Results in a Newly Found Relative

Courtesy of Suprisesuprise.me

This has been an unusual week for me. In August 2017 I emailed someone on Ancestry asking how they were related as the individual had no online tree. I suggested the match was for a particular surname.

This week, I got a reply. Yes, it was over 4 years after I sent the initial inquiry. Genealogy is a study in patience!

The woman had not gotten an email from Ancestry notifying her that I had messaged her. Recently, her sister had tested and she decided to go back on and see her matches. She had difficult logging on so contacted Ancestry. What a surprise she discovered when she finally saw her matches.

She was only 22% related to her sister and 21% percent related to someone she had gone to school with. Then she saw my message and discovered the schoolmate had the same surname I was asking her about.

Unfortunately, the schoolmate had died last year so she could not contact him. She found his obituary and discovered he had a brother and the name of his parents.

She was shaken to her core, understandably, as who she thought was her father was not biologically hers. She called her sister who responded by laughing. Her sister, only 2 and a half years older than her, had no idea and hadn’t even looked closely at her own Ancestry results.

The woman spoke with a counselor who told this was just a mistake. The woman didn’t believe it was. She messaged me and we spoke in detail. I was able to send her some personal photos I had of her grandparents as my grandfather had evidently attended their 50^th anniversary party in the 1970’s.

She is coping extremely well; it’s difficult discovering a not expected parent when you get your DNA results back.

Now that she has some new family,here’s what I suggested she do as she would like to contact them:

DO NOT – Facebook Message/call/text or show up unexpectedly at their door

DO use either an unemotionally attached middleman or email/mail a letter

Here’s a template I recommend for adoptees that can be tailored to work for NEP’s:

I am (insert your name) and I understand that this note may come as a surprise to you. I don’t want to upset anyone but I am hoping to learn about my family’s medical history. I was adopted in (insert date). Recently, I had my DNA tested through (insert company). I have just been diagnosed with (insert illness) and I’m hoping to connect with my biological relatives who may help me better understand my genetic background. Please know I do not want to intrude. I am simply wanting knowledge about my family’s health. I can be reached at (insert phone) or at (insert email). Sincerely,

I also recommended she read, The Stranger in My Genes by Bill Griffeth. In her case, her mother is deceased so she may not ever discover what really happened. It’s likely the father who raised her had no idea but she did not look like her sibling and there was always a joke in the family that she was the daughter of the milkman. The father who raised her was a milkman. It’s unlikely he would have made that joke if he knew the truth.

Like so many others who discover the information, she reported she never felt connected to her family. I do believe we have an unexplainable sense of belongingness to those who share a genetic background with us. Maybe someday how that works will be understandable to us.

In the meantime, I say Welcome, cuz, to the family!